She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
