who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
