Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
