just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
