Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
