do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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