They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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