oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
