dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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