i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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