Where did you get a picture of my penis
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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