Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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