Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
