A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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