found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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