using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
