I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
