I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
