If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
