I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
