she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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