Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
