I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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