Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
