I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize