just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
