Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
