Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
