My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
