Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
