I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's the barista slut.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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