i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
