yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
