Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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