Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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