yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
