And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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