Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
