He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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