i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
