Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I could fuck to npr.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize