I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
