she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
