That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
