white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
