omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize