Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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