I'm really into asian looking animals
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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