so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
