I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My pussy is not your playground.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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