you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
