ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
