we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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