And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
