he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
