Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
