last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
