can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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