The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The beer is more important than you right now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
