CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
