whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
vagina is talking i cant
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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