This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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