i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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