that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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