i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
