Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
