Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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