I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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